rough notes

troubled / the reason for being

it should come as no surprise to most people reading this that this year hasn’t been the best year for me. i haven’t been happy with my studies or my department; i’ve been living in poverty for too long, and i’ve been struggling quite a bit with the “what next?” question. Turning Thirty several months ago, I’m sure, has caused a bit of this introspective malaise, but as we all know, i tend to dwell, quite a bit, on issues… and i think that i’d be in the same state i’m in now if i encountered this year any younger or older than i am now.

lately i’ve wanted to complain to people about things, but i haven’t (too much) as i’ve had only a few outlets to do so, which in the end overwhelms those outlets, and turns the very complaints into unhealthy rants that lead nowhere. i’ve also tried to be rather ‘pro-active’ and optimistic, and look for solutions to my problems rather than moments to simply complain. i’m more than happy to have found a way out of The Programme (as graduate work is called in school social circles) by shifting gears to an MLIS in September. my cohorts in the MA programme, for the most part, are of two minds on the subject. Some are more than happy for me, as they recognize that I’m not happy doing what I’m doing, and its good to get out when one can get out. Some of the others, though, are still holding misplaced, if not regressive delusions on the nature of academic work in the humanities. While no one has gone so far as to shun me or accuse me of betraying the profession, the department, or even my dreams, some have still made it clear that they believe my decision to leave is completely misinformed and wrong-headed. Of course, this is based on their own ([mis-]informed) opinions, and we’re all free to judge and opine, but I’m tired of hearing and seeing this patronizing sense of disappointment.

(So here we all are – not one person from my MA programme has access to this website. Telling..)

That’s that, for now. This is three posts in two (or three?) days outlining the genesis of this website. Two are abstract and theoretical, and then there’s this guy, which lays bare some of my current gripes. I’m still holding back, not so much on the situation, nor on my outward responses and reactions, but on my actual thoughts. It’ll take me a couple weeks to get used to the medium once more.

Final thoughts:

Who is disappointed that the CBC cancelled jPod? We are, here at the 5278. i was especially enjoying coupland’s televised rendition of ethan’s mom. she was holding that show together. the music is pretty great, too. if anyone is interested, jpod’s theme music is a track by Bonobo called “Flutter”, from the album Dial “M” For Monkey. Even if you don’t know jPod, you may recognize the track because the day after the series was cancelled jian ghomeshi ripped it for his own promo and theme music. rat bastard!


Written by mitchellirons

March 16, 2008 at 5:54 pm

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