mitchellirons

rough notes

My birthday is coming up next week.

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My birthday is coming up next week. Now, aside from begging for/asking for/politely pointing out neat gift ideas, I try to keep things low-key. I don’t really need a party or boozefest; I’ve got better things to worry about, like whether or not I’ll get everything I want.

The way I see it, if people want to give me things on this particular day of the year, then what the hell, line up the gifts boys and girls, I’m awaiting! For the past couple years, I’ve been suggesting to my parents to “combine” their birthday and christmas budgets into one, so I can get some super-wicked-cool item that I’ve always wanted, but didn’t realize until the week previous.

This year, however, I’m taking a different approach to the selfish demand for gifts to the parental units. Earlier in the month, I decided I needed a new winter coat, and dammit, I’ve always wanted a POANG chair from IKEA, so, they could outfit me with these items this winter. In the past couple days, though, my demands have changed. I’ve decided that despite my newly acquired belly (about 15lb added since September, I gather), I can’t possibly join a gym. There is nothing for me at a gym except for maybe rowing machines. The treadmills are almost do-able, but I can’t possibly run without going anywhere. Even on an indoor track, the forward motion provides a sense of distance and time spent (it also cools you off considerably – something that the stationary nature of a treadmill can never accomplish). So, I’m going to take a gamble, and join the cult of winter runners.

Ah yes, that group of people who wear flashy colours and tights outside in the middle of a deep freeze. The idiots who are so determined to run outside all year long that they will coat their face with vaseline to prevent the onset of frostbite. We all know them, and hate them, for their determination to stay fit in the winter, no matter what the cost to their fashion sense, or manhood.

So, I’ve been down to MEC and the Running Room lately, just to comparison shop. It looks like I’ll have to spend upwards of $200 (after tax) tomorrow, to outfit myself with affordable clothing. By this I mean a breathable shell (jacket), a moisture wicking shirt (because cotton won’t do at all in the cold), and, pants. I’ve found pants. Not spandex lycra tights. But actual pants. So I don’t think it’ll look all that bad after all. (And besides, I’ve found a great looking jacket, too. My fashion sense is through the roof on this one.) I figure I’ll ask the parents to just re-imburse me the $200, and we can call all this MEC gear a birthday gift in the end. And a new winter coat will wait until next year.

Now, I could ask for a coat at Christmas, instead of POANG, but, wonder of wonders, Timex has finally combined their GPS speed+distance watch with a heart-rate monitor! (I affectionately call it “Voltron.”) And I want one. Badly. Their original GPS watches went for upwards of $550CDN when first released, but now retail at the running room, **with the H.R.Monitor**, for $469CDN. This is still way too pricey for me, but I can find it on ebay for around $260CDN. So now, I’m kindly demanding the Timex Voltron for Christmas.

The loved one is not too pleased with the idea – she has grown to want POANG as much as I do, I feel, and is rather hurt that I might try to swindle the parents for an expensive watch that lets the Yanks track my movement instead of new furniture for our living space. I feel her pain, I really do. I desperately want POANG. But I have been, on some level, thinking about Voltron for a long time ( http://www.livejournal.com/users/mitchellirons/18458.html. for details) and its most recent price-points have finally made it an affordable training tool. Besides, its very price would be an incentive of sorts to keep up the runs – to make it worth it. So the campaign has begun for Voltron, and hopefully will be a success.

But back to my birthday. Its next week, so feel free to send me lots of gifts. Cash will do just fine; I’ll gladly accept donations through PayPal. Even better would be gift certificates for MEC (I’m sure you can see why by reading above), or certificates to Powell’s. The $60 certificate I have there already is not allowed to be spent until after my birthday, and probably Christmas, too, so any extra funds towards the Help Mitch Buy An OED* account would be very much appreciated.

(* – That is, a Shorter OED. Mitch reserves the right to switch the purchase objective of the account at anytime, but assures you, gracious supporter, that any items purchased at Powell’s will come from their Classics, Criticism or Philosophy departments, and will surely be of a highly pretentious manner.)

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Written by mitchellirons

November 22, 2003 at 6:27 am

Posted in 499869

Tagged with , , ,

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